Quarantined: Celebrated 30 years of existence on earth

Last week I turned 30 and on this occasion of my 10,950 days of existence on earth, I felt grateful that by God's grace I made it through this pandemic, although it’s not how I envisioned celebrating, thanks to COVID, I could still welcome 30 with open arms!.

While a birthday is often an external celebration and for the people who know me close enough would know, how big a fan I am of birthdays and celebrations, oftentimes I see it as a day for deep reflection as well. I was mostly excited to see what my 20s had in store for me, when I arrived in my 30. And here as I enter a new decade, I can’t help but think about the last decade which taught me so much.., it’s bittersweet bidding farewell to them – like grieved for the then loved ones; graduated my college; fell in love; got my the first job; moved out of my parents' place; flaunted my first pay-check, solo travelled, had my first heartbreak too; failed my life miserably worked my ass off like never before; bought my first laptop, my first branded phone, bought mom our first home with my sister; made peace with my past, and got married; settling in the South of India (never ever planned); working my farthest dream job of exploring new opportunities every day, and most importantly felt being close to becoming a mom with Hanan (nephew). Along the way made a lot of friends but learned the lesson of being my own friend first. Honestly, there are many great accomplishments in my journey, there were hardships too.

And as I turned 30 this May 10th, I am beyond thankful to be happy and healthy and share the key to my 29 years of turning into the woman I am!

1. Pray and read the Bible: Prayers will always save you because that’s where your gut feeling originates from. 

2. Family is not only an important thing, it’s everything: One of the most important things in life is to surround yourself with people who believe in you and support you. This is invaluable. Hold them close and let them know how much you love and appreciate them. Cultivate great, lasting relationships with your family members. There were times I didn’t but I cherish and appreciate my relationships a lot more and I can relate to them more now.

3. The greatest wealth is your health: I stopped taking my metabolism for granted. I feel blessed after I started taking health as one of my priorities. It gives you all the signs you need to get attention. Start small maybe with just one habit at a time (drink enough water or make time for enough sleep – I am still working on both of these and I am mindful).

4. Save Money: “at least a month’s salary in a year as your personal saving’ that’s what one of my granny’s asked me to do the first time I brought my pay-check home. To be honest those personal savings have been my Jam now.

5. Not everyone is going to like you…and that’s ok: I think it’s human nature to want to be well-liked and it can be hurtful when others don’t like you. But it’s ok if they don’t. Focus on those people that do like you and want to be in your presence. Stop trying to impress others. It never works out well, ever.

6. Real friends: There are friends that you know are for life & there are friends that come into your life during a season. There’s nothing wrong with either type of friendship, but it’s important to know that not every friendship is forever and it’s ok to let certain ones go. True friends will celebrate your success and support you in your failures. Hold those ones close to you, you need each other more than you know!

7. Life doesn’t follow a set timeline: It’s ok to not have it all figured out. I mean does anyone? Growing up I had this “ideal” timeline in my head of how I thought my life was going to play out. All I can say is thank God that’s not how it happened. Life has unfolded exactly how it should when it should and sometimes I am not okay for many reasons but I know in my heart that the one that I am living is much better

8. Forget the mistakes but remember the lesson: You don’t learn much by doing everything right. There have been times that I have felt like a complete failure when I made a mistake. Those mistakes and feelings have been debilitating and prevented me from picking myself back up. I learned that it’s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn from them along the way. It happens to everyone.

9. Recognize the worth:  I learned to show appreciation more to the people around me. You can appreciate them all you want but if you never show it, they’ll never know.

10. Allow healthy risk-taking: Looking back, some of the biggest risks have provided the biggest rewards. It is often worthwhile to take risks and push limits. Getting outside of your comfort zone is not as scary as you think. It usually proves to be worth it! You never know until you try. 

11. Worrying never helps: I am the type of person who worries about everything and always has a “worst-case scenario” worked out in my head. Does it help? Heck no! Is the situation ever the worst case? Hardly ever. Stop worrying and work through it as a quote goes: I just give myself permission to suck. I find it hugely liberating

12. Saying 'No' is as important as saying 'Yes': I used to think saying “yes” to everything made me a better person. I would say yes to drinks with friends, yes to things knowing it would push my limits. And I learned that saying “yes” doesn’t make me a better person, in fact, it takes away from me being my best self. So it’s ok to say no even if saying that disappoints someone else.

13. Apologize and forgive: I’ll admit, I can be stubborn and hold a grudge, but over the years I have learned it’s easier to forgive than it is to hold on to those unwanted feelings. Life is too short for grudges. I’m more eager to forgive. I learned nothing stays the same forever.

14. Some days just suck: It’s ok to acknowledge the bad days and reflect on those feelings. But don’t wallow too much because it can put you in a dark place. Allow yourself to feel the emotions and then move on when you can! Recovery changes, it isn’t always inspiring happy life, sometimes it's just pushing through.

15. Therapy is vital: I am an independent person and it’s very hard for me to ask for help. There have been a few situations that I have gotten myself into that could have easily been alleviated had I just asked for help when I needed it. And then I just gave it up once, reached out for a fixture and yes, it is all composed now. You can always ask for help, even when you think it’s hard because that’s how you live, and you learn. Therapy is actually very important in some phases of your life and you should never shy away from it. It could be just dialing your phone to speak to your best friends or sometimes even your mom.

16. Welcome Vulnerability: It can be intimidating to let your guard down and open up but do it with those you trust. It will bring a better bond and a better understanding of each other. It’s ok to open up and be vulnerable, you don’t always have to hide that part of you.

17.  Pick your battles: Not everything is worth flipping out over. Let some things roll off your back! Don’t let perfect be an enemy of good. Small pleasures of life are sometimes all you need to unwind after a long hectic day.

18. Self-worth is Integral: It’s easy to take the words of others and believe them – even if you know they aren’t true. Don’t do that – letting their words in only diminishes your shine. Don’t let other's opinions of you diminish your shine. Don’t underestimate yourself, even when others do. You are a gem & you are capable of many things. Remember that!

19. Growth brings forth change: No one is ever going to remain the same. It’s human nature to grow, change & evolve in life. Experiences, people, and situations change us. I’m not the same person I was five, ten, or fifteen years ago – and that’s a good thing. Never stop learning. Everyone has a story that you can learn from. You’re never too old to learn from someone else. People aren’t always what they seem, take the time to listen to someone’s story. Personal growth is an ongoing process in my life, whether it’s in my career, education, or personal life. Self-development is a top priority.

20. Don’t promise when you are happy, don’t reply when you are angry and do not decide when you are sad: Nothing good ever comes from acting on emotions. Give the situation time to diffuse itself. Decide when to speak or act once you have had a moment to reflect thoughtfully on the situation. Nine times out of ten the situation isn’t as bad as you thought when you were emotional. And true that I messed it up the 9 times and I did learn at the 10th.

21. Be present: the art of life is to be present in every moment. Don’t let memories fall to the wayside because you were too busy behind your phone or computer screen. I’ve come to realize that things happen to you or for you only when you are ready for them, and that’s all that you need to get through anything is within you.

22. Do what makes you happy but also, be smart about it: It’s simple as that. You can be happy, but you also need to think things through! Don’t be so hard on yourself. Allow yourself grace. Talk yourself up. Be on your own team. You don’t always have to be so hard on yourself. I had read in a book, be highly humble yet highly aware of your worth, this is something that I have learned over the years. My energy is valuable & so is my worth, but I learned the hard way.

23. Invest in yourself, you can afford it, trust me: Part of being your best self is making sure that you are investing in yourself. Take those moments of self-care, do what you enjoy & invest in making yourself an even better version of yourself. It will make a big difference, I promise. I started to invest my money more on skin and hair care instead of splurging it all on clothes like I used to in my 20s. I realized the power of a good facial, and how buying the right hair product can make all the difference, and befriending my hair was the best thing I could do. I learned that the best anti-aging product I could use is sunscreen, I apply it religiously!

24. Quality over quantity: This goes for basically everything in life. But seriously, it does. (the work that is scanned by you should carry a brand value, is what my last boss taught me and to date, I ask it myself before I submit my final task in any sphere, even this post)

25. Dress to impress: internally and externally, it took me many adult years to realize that only I can define what being feminine is, and it’s not how you look or dress.  I realized the power of using scents over deodorants and how these relate to memories. It works like magic.

26. Pause for a cause: Take a break when you need to – it’ll be good for your mental health, I promise. I stopped waiting for people’s validation. The longest break I take is from social media. It can be toxic sometimes.

27. Choose one act of kindness a season: I learned to be kind to myself in my thoughts and my actions and only then I can understand the gravity of being kind to others. It is a process and it helps to heal.

28. Love in your own way, with your all: I can bet on this and those who know me would know that I have always put my 100% pure love into any relationship that I made and promised. That’s my way of loving life.

29. Support and voice: for those in need, yes you can make a difference! You can speak on behalf of those who are voiceless. Know that somewhere someone spoke, which led to the current comfort zone we are placed in. How impactful it would be if we speak for the right cause, if not for us but for the coming generation.

30. … is in the process.., building a balance through everything that learned and open to learning in the upcoming decade, if God wills.